It's 4:18 am and I can't sleep. Luckily, I have my compadre Gizmo hanging with me.
The day nears where I leave for Tennessee. But I'm really sad. I'm happy..but sad. I'm a big o ball of emotion. Stupid emotion. Happy I will be a step closer to family and friends but I will be away from Joe for a couple months. Yes I can come back on some weekends...but it still makes me sad that he won't be home when I do..I wont get to kiss him hi or bye in the mornings when he goes to work.
I guess its silly that I am like this..I had a military (ex) husband that was gone months at a time...I should be used to this. But I'm starting back on square one and here I sit crying like a baby.
On one hand, I have a job lined up for Monday making the same money if not more in a place that I am familiar with and have friends to work with. On the other hand I have a job at Dell that starts in June thats "iffy" (iffy because everyone I've told about Dell warns m e to stay away from them - they will lay me off). Dell doesn't start until June 20 which would give me more time here in Indy and to get moved.
I know that Ahome (job starting Monday) would be best for me seeing as it's more lenient on time off and weekends are off also and there seems to be more job security. I just get sad thinking I have to leave Joe behind right now.
I know the couple of you that read this are thinking "You'll be fine - It'll fly by - there IS a telephone/computer for communication ya know!" I hate being in limbo in anything...wheather its making plans to see a movie or making plans to move..either way I hate feeling scattered. I know things will be better when we get fully transitioned. I know I need to put the big girl panties on and suck it up.
For now, Ima go lay down and try to sleep.
See you folks on the flip side..
Jayme - out.
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